Stricken

I've been stricken with a bout of insomnia lately. Some sort of attention-deficit, miasma of stupor that has come over me in the past week after a particularly nasty bout of the flu. Some of the stupidest shit has been propelling me through the night. Sucking my time and mental facilities from me. Leaving me mostly uninspired and still completely bored. I am apt to blame it on a distinct lack of mood altering substances in my bloodstream. An idea that both intrigues and bothers me. Will a rip roaring bender save me or just give a little excitement to my nightly meandering of nonsense. Do I really need one to get me out of this sleepless funk?

I should be dissecting "Dejunier" and rebuilding the outlines. I should be writing in my blog more. I should turn off my goddamn computer or at least catch up on movies. Instead I am trolling myspace for profile songs or browsing my forums for off-kilter photos. Or just watching youtube for several hours at a time. My brain can't hold onto anything tangible and certainly can't stay entertained for more than thirty seconds at a time.

I wonder if I can find some adderall and mushrooms. Then hope my brain holds onto creating rather than discovering or something horrible and depressing. That would waste good drugs... Who the fuck am I kidding, stupid idea.

I need inspiration, sleep, and a good lay. Not nessicerily in that order, but hopefully all in short order. Something is all jammed up inside. I can't even seem to relate to people as of late. Like I have nothing to say to them, but I feel terribly like I need to be around someone. Some sort of foggy loneliness. I intangibly desire to be with people but can't properly interact. Bah, another symptom of the sickness.

We'll see if I can work it out of system this weekend. A couple days off to blow steam is definitely needed. I just hope boredom and a tinge of insanity don't come on as a result of not sleeping. That could be bad, then again, maybe needed.