Love's Dawn

I wrote this for myself I think, I don't know. It feels good to me. Like warm towels and rainy sundays good. Even though warm towels are meant to be put in the closet now and rainy sundays make work shitty. But time made that happen, much like it's kinda changed this story.

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“I love her.” The thought I’d been trying so hard to push away finally bubbled up, clean and true. It got past my defenses before I could hide it. And I damned myself for letting it happen.
I was pretty sure it was the same for her also. It was a mournful virus both of us were fighting. But we were both too weak to stave it off for long. Fate is horribly persistent to an end. It was threatening to take this affair to one that I knew both of us were going to suffer from. Rebel destiny was a motto I tried to employ. Too bad it didn’t work as hard as fate. Too bad for us.
I traced the curves of her body under the covers and tried to push the pain of love out of my chest. I was setting in deep now. She wanted to be alone, and I needed to. Why the hell had this happened?
The question hung in the air for a second and floated away unanswered. It was too late to question God. He was probably sleeping like everyone else anyway. Too tired to fight anymore, my thoughts began to shift around, losing coordination. I slipped into darkness and drifted off.

I walked down the wooden planks of the pier and saw her kneeling at the end. Her face was down, looking into the water. Anything else, save whatever drama was playing itself under the surface seemed to be non-existent. I stopped and admired the childlike wonderment she was taking in the little things below the water. You could see the world coming back to her and she cocked her head, as if she heard my admiration floating behind her. She turned around and smiled at my outline behind her. I felt the world around me become brighter, crisper. I dropped my bags and walked over to her. She stood up to me, I touched her face and she cradled it into my hand. I brought her face to mine and kissed it. The wind picked up off the water and blew her hair against my cheek. I was back...

I awoke back into a darkened room. Night still was holding on to the bedroom. My sleep must not have lasted long. Her back was to me and she’d managed to steal most of the covers. I stole them cautiously back and moved in close to her. Holding her to me. I smelled the shampoo in her hair and thought I’d miss that. A little bit of melancholy settled into me.
Some stupid thought of love being the gravity that binds people together, like suns and planets flashed into my head. I dismissed myself as being a hopeless romantic as a fault. It was too late for inane selfish thoughts of the romantic.
I smelled her hair again and sighed. Then damned myself for falling in love. What was for us now? A woman that just was beginning her life. And her beau, still struggling just to get a hold on his. Portents of doom flashed everywhere like some hellish storm.
Fate plays cruel tricks. Making brilliant men evil, the good meek, and tying together those paths that lead astray of each other. Anger rose in me at the unfairness of it all. We had traveled a long hard road, a lot of the journey filled with things we both weren’t very proud of, and it seems like all the energies spent were futile.
“Damn Fate!” I hissed to myself.
This is what we had now. Two lovers, holding each other in bed. Comfortable in each others embrace, keeping back feelings we both knew we had. The only thing we could do was hang onto this precarious embrace until we were forced to part. Forced by the future or us. Why couldn’t it be different?
“I love her.” bubbled up clean and true, past my defenses...