Future, or the knife in the ground.

Imagine you were given one hour, sixty seconds to put your entire life in perspective. What would it say? What would it sound like?

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The heart sits upon the sleeve, it is exposed, but not vulnerable. The only way to hurt it is by surprise. Shields cannot say up at all times. The brain see's all, it just chooses to ignore what it doesn't want to see. It cannot comprehend that what it does not believe in. Honesty is the grease that keeps this machine working, even if it gums up the gears from time to time.

I want a reality that allows me to touch the things I hide from myself, yet distract me enough to address them when I want to. I listen to music that speaks of the simplicity I desire in life but feel like that isn't achievable. I know simplicity isn't sustainable, just happiness in fleeting moments. I need to become content with those moments, and learn that is the power I need to sustain off of. In the end you are born alone, you'll die the same. I just need to be content with what I may leave behind. The path isn't complicated, I am, and I need to find the happy medium where option balances desire to simplify myself. I am the one who really blocks option.

I need to find more in myself to keep me from fixating. I am the crazy person I fear I am. Which is not as bad as society has taught me. If I lead the way, I will not be alone, people see the path and are attracted to that. I need to see that and realize my words are for me, it's my respect for those words that which gives them power. I am not as dissimilar as I think I am and need to speak in that direction.

I put value on words, and need to see that value doesn't matter, words are words. Actions are the only true value. Talk less, do more should be the ruler I measure by. I have little self perspective because of that. I talk more than I act and that needs to end if I am to truely acheive my dreams. The mental knife I throw in the ground needs to actually hit dirt and I need to have that as a physical reference for me to look at. I need physical reference, not mental.

I need to quit dismissing my feelings and address them. Not just write them off as a lark because it doesn't suit my reality. I feel it so it's going to affect my reality. I also need to see that some feelings are not going to change anything and know when to leave them. The coldness I have harbored in myself needs to be used more wisely than I use it.

I need to believe in the tao(way), if I beleive in it it will take care of me. Switch atheist for the agnostic. I am old enough to have faith. "God" as some would call it has shown himself to me enough. Beleive, if only to be sane. Find a church or way to worship, even if it's your sole crazy way. Don't question the tao, even if it questions you. The tests are what make you, you. The content will find a happy ending. Only something outside of you can do that, not you.

Right now, you're job is not you, and you are not your job. You need to sacrifice and work to do that. Reality as it stands has not given you the credit you need to acheive that. Work hard to get that reality and it may become so. A fire is only a fire if it burns hotter than anyone can touch. You are the fire, not the fuel. Find the fuel to acheive that temperature. Reality is that fuel.

Finally, you dictate what's important. The american dream is a commercial sold to those who have the money to buy it. The Robert dream is more important, and it shouldn't mirror what anyone else wants other than the humanistic level. We are all human, some just are less creative than others, you shouldn't be one of those people.

I love everyone, which is why I hurt so much sometimes.